In a weekly Friday column, the best-selling author of ‘Friendkeeping’ helps get you through the toughest, weirdest, most embarrassing situations you’re having with the people in your life who count the most: your friends.
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Julie Klam, the best-selling author of Friendkeeping: A Field Guide to the People You Love, Hate, and Can’t Live Without, is here for you, DAME readers, with sage advice about our most treasured, and at times, most fraught and neurotic bonds: friendships. Not only with those we’ve made IRL through school, work, or communities, but also through social media, which has made us close to people we’ve never even met in the flesh. And, as it happens, allowed us to reconnect with everyone we’ve ever known—for better and for worse. But having more opportunities for connection comes with its occupational hazards, many that feel too embarrassing or trite to speak aloud, much less commit to writing. Enter Julie Klam, a woman whose mother claims that when she was a little girl, she was “making playdates from my bassinet at the White Plains Hospital” and would “take the avocado-colored hall phone and my class list and sit on the floor and call one kid after another”—when she was in kindergarten. To this day, Julie still uses the word “BFF” without irony, but she appreciates how rare that is—and how funny. So she identifies with our neuroses, withholds judgment, pulls up her sleeves and gets to the heart of the problems that can arise with our pals. Like when your friend posts photos of a gathering you weren’t invited to on Instagram: She has been there. She’ll make sure you hold your head up high while you figure out why. Tensions running high with your best friend because her toddler is tormenting yours? She can defuse that without anyone losing an eye. Or a friend. Because that is the goal here: Preserving the bonds on which we most rely. And knowing, too, when to let them go.
Every week, she will field two questions, no question is too convoluted or far-fetched or embarrassing. Try her: [email protected]. She’s ready for you.
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