Here’s the magazine that Fox News should have produced.
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The wait is over. A nation’s prayers were answered last week. Yes, it’s true. On Monday June 18, Fox News finally launched an online lifestyle magazine for women.
But considering the feverish anticipation, the magazine is somewhat bland and generic. Stock photography, tired stories. And the media hasn’t hesitated to criticize. It appears that the most trusted name in news is just finding its feet in lifestyle.
To be fair (and balanced), it’s a tremendous resource if you’re trying to get rid of your turkey neck or get really clean windows or keep mealybugs out of your flour – and who isn’t? But nevertheless, Fox fans are flummoxed – is scrapbooking really the best that Fox News has to offer?
We think not. Here at DAME, we believe that Fox has missed an opportunity. After all, who hasn’t wondered what Gretchen Carlson’s hair is actually made of? Or how Anne Coulter spruces up her gun closet for the fall? And who among us – be honest, ladies – hasn’t longed to see pictures of Sean Hannity at the beach with his family, walking out of the water with these washboard abs. (Sigh). Now that’s some trickle down economics we could get down with!
So, in the spirit of an overzealous fan, we’d like to suggest a few stories to the editors there at Fox News Magazine.
Recipe of the Month: Pepper Spray Chicken, by Megyn Kelly
Who is the Sexiest President: Reagan or Reagan?, by Marcus Bachmann
7 Tips to Keep Things Alive in the Bathroom, by Bill O’Reilly
Is TV Making Me Stupid? Our experts weigh in.
Dirty Talk That Drives Men Wild by Bill O’Reilly
Youthful Skin in Five Easy Steps, by Charles Krauthammer
Hate: A Love Story, by Anne Coulter
“Mommy, Why Did Jesus Write The Constitution?” – Home-schooling with the Hannitys
Bring out the Beady Part of Your Eyes, by Bret Baier
Flag? Like! A Guide To Conservative Dating Websites
Losing It: How Shepard Smith Dropped the Weight
Kill It and Grill It: The Sarah Palin Cookbook
Packing For Xenu: Greta Van Susteren’s Weekend Bag
How to Have it All on Only a $400,000 a Year
Pray Yourself Rich, by Brian Kilmeade
What Women Want, by John Stossel
How To Tell If Your Child Is a Secret Muslim
How to be a Neocon in the Boardroom and the Bedroom, by William Kristol
Is He Lying? Cheating? Hiding WMDs?, by Judith Miller
Plan the Perfect Fifth Wedding, by Geraldo Rivera
What You Don’t Know About Your Teenager’s Cell Phone, by Rupert Murdoch
How to Properly Care for Your Bush, by Karl Rove
Who hasn’t wondered what Gretchen Carlson’s hair is actually made of? Or how Anne Coulter spruces up her gun closet for the fall?DAME
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