Generation Entitled

In offices around the country, a generational war is a-brewing by Courtney E. Martin


Perhaps some of the boldness in 20-somethings' attempts to climb the corporate ladder dangerously fast comes from the fact that many of them see a safety net below.  According to CBS News, half of this year's graduates have moved back home and 44 percent of last year's grads are still there. Meanwhile, 34 percent of 18- to 34-year-olds get cash from mom and dad - an average of $3,410 a year.
"I don't want to have to rely on my parents, but I suppose I do know that's an option and it allows me to take more risks at work," says Cary*, a 26 year old real estate broker. "There was this evil woman at the first firm I worked at. I basically felt like, 'I don't have to deal with this,' and quit. If I'd had no help paying the rent the following month it may not have been such an easy option."

But what about young women who are asking for perfectly reasonable promotions, perks, or projects, and are still seen as "entitled" by their older colleagues?

Sandra*, a young woman who works in the financial industry, remembers, "The first time I went into my boss' office and asked for a raise, she looked at me with her head cocked to one side as if to say 'Oh, how cute.' She then explained to me that I would have to pay my dues, just as she did. It made me want to never have a female boss again."

On the other hand, Deborah Siegel, the author of Sisterhood Interrupted, recognizes the frustration of the bosses in these situations. "We've come a long way- maybe?" she says. “So older women get frustrated when they encounter younger women who don't seem to have a sense that battles remain. There are still major barriers out there, especially in fields like the law where women are entering firms at the same rate as men, but very few are making partner. And the mommy gap - women leaving the workforce to have children and then having difficultly re-entering- still affects so many women. Some of these inequities come as rude awakenings to younger women."

So how can women of all ages learn to pull one another up instead of giving each other evil eyes around the conference room table?

Seligson has some ideas. "We need to have a dialogue," she says. “Instead of writing younger women off as entitled, say to them, 'Look, I know you really want to move up and think coffee fetching is beneath you, but here's the big picture.'"

As for younger women, Seligson recommends doing research to find out what the standard pay and time between promotions is in your field. In other words, make sure your requests are reasonable so you don't give the rest of your generation a bad name, okay?

But do not forgo asking for a promotion altogether. Despite the Equal Pay Act of 1963, women still make 77 cents for every dollar a man rakes in. Part of this is due to institutional discrimination, but undoubtedly part of it, as Linda C. Babcock noted in her classic Women Don't Ask, is that women tend to feel a great deal of apprehension about making demands and skip the, “Can I get a raise already?" discussion. The loss is enormous: women who negotiate increases earn at least $1 million more during their careers than women who don't.

"Bottom line," Seligson finishes with resolve befitting a Generation Y gal, "I think women should ask for what they deserve."

 

Courtney E. Martin is a writer, teacher, and chick pea enthusiast who lives in Brooklyn. She is also the author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body (Simon & Schuster, 2007). You can read more about her work at www.courtneyemartin.com.
 

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