How to Be a Wino: The Basics

In an ongoing series, Paula Zamecka, a small business owner and avid wine lover from Chicago helps peel you away from the two-buck-chuck and takes you one step closer to becoming a wine snob

By Paula Zamecka
Published: Dec 13, 2007

Have you walked into a wine store trying to expand your knowledge of wine, only to end up more confused about fruity berries, leather, vanilla, oak and (you gotta be kidding) blue cheese flavors, oh my! Do you cringe when your party orders a bottle and the waiter makes you do the awkward initial taste test? Swish or swallow, it’s all one bottle of Franzia to you.

Learning about wine can be a little intimidating, but DAME promises you will not be required to chew on wood chips or your leather sandals to become an aficionado. To begin today’s lesson: an overview that should make your next trip to the wine store a little less convoluted—one step at a time, friends.

Red Wine 101

Red wine is made with the skin of the red grape. This is where it gets its deep color and also many of its nutritional benefits discovered in recent years (and exhibited by the Frenchies through history). Different types of red wine are made from different kinds of grapes. The end product, however, not only depends on the flavor of the grape but also on the barrels it is aged in. This is where wine picks up the unusual flavors of wood, leather, etc. So that bottle of French wine aged in a barrel hundreds of years old will have a much more complex flavor than its American or Australian counterpart coming from a brand new barrel.

wine barrel
Popular Reds

Pinot Noir
A very light red wine, it is light in color and often has berry and cherry flavors associated with it. It does not originate in California as the movie industry may have us believe—it actually derives from the Bourgogne region of France. A French bottle of Bourgogne wine is the original Pinot Noir. (Try that trivia to impress someone!) Because of its light texture, it can be a little acidic (think cherry) but it usually becomes smoother as the price goes up. (Ain’t that just the way?)

Cabernet Sauvignon
Always a crowd pleaser, this wine is neither too heavy nor too light, neither too sweet nor too dry. It goes well with most foods. If you are going to a dinner party it is usually a safe choice.

Merlot
A rich and thick wine that tends to be on the sweeter side; often associated with plum and currant flavors. The verdict is you either love it or you hate it. DAME suggests going with the higher priced varieties if you are serious about tasting this wine’s authenticity. Its rich character is often used to mask flaws of low quality wine sold at bargain prices. But hell, if it’s just one of those days, you may be into quantity over quality.

Other interesting reds
pouring wine
Zinfandel
A very popular California wine usually higher in alcohol content—bonus? Very easy to drink on its own. And straight from the bottle (we kid). It is rich and smooth with just a hint of sweetness. Very sexy, it’s perfect for a romantic dinner or girls’ night out.

Shiraz
Shiraz is a very thick, rich and dry wine. Originally grown in the Shiraz region of Iran, its production has now moved to Australia and the USA (go team!). Its richness makes it very nice for cold nights and holiday meals. Some wineries leave their Shiraz unfiltered, giving it a fantastic, even richer taste, though you may find the odd bit of wine sediment at the bottom of the bottle. The sediment is mostly grape particles and sometimes a bit of sand, which usually gets filtered out before bottling. Some extreme wine enthusiasts claim that only unfiltered wine has true, full taste. In the light of some small wineries still crushing wine grapes with their bare feet, however, (talk about extra flavor!), wine sediment can be a major turnoff for a true Dame.