Room Maids

Rent for chores - a new niche in city living

By Juliette Dominguez
Published: Dec 01, 2007

Living in any major city is terrifyingly expensive – $4000 for a one-bedroom in Manhattan, anyone? So more and more young women are offering up their services as a “Room Maid,” in return for free rent. According to nationwide matching service RoommateExpress.com, about 25% of its male clients specifically ask for a “female barter roommate,” up from less than 10% just three years ago. These women seek out professional, single, and solvent men who need someone to look after them like only a mother, or wife, could. But without the fringe benefits. (Sorry, guys!) They cook, they clean, they do the laundry – and that’s all. Or is it?

Of course, this trend makes feminists shudder. “It fits in with traditional economic patterns and gender roles,” says Pamela Smock, a sociologist at the University of Michigan. For men, she says, “this is one of the biggest examples of hedging your bets that I've ever seen.”
DAME wonders, can this type of arrangement ever really work? We asked two people who experienced the “Room Maid” life: “Well, what happened?”

THE ROOM MAID’S STORY:
Veronica Verve, 29, works in marketing, and is also a part-time photographer and screenwriter. She has a boyfriend and shares a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate in Santa Monica, CA.

Veronica says; “I’m very creative, and a natural problem-solver. I like to live well and in a good area, and I knew when I left home in 2004 for Los Angeles that I’d never be able to afford a nice apartment. So I decided to hire out my services as a ‘room maid,’ in return for lodging and food. And I knew I could easily provide the basics that professional, busy, single men desire. The same services they’d get from a wife or mother – sans the sex or the nagging. They get home after a long day at work and have a home-cooked meal waiting for them, and their house looks clean and welcoming, the household shopping is done, and in the morning I’d make them breakfast and have a packed lunch for them to take to work.

I grew up in a luxury detached four-bedroom house, with a huge yard in Salt Lake City, Utah. I had a stable, happy, middle-class upbringing and have never wanted for anything. Both my parents work – my mother, Mikki, works in cosmetics at a department store, and my father, Vernon, is a project manager for a multi-million dollar large construction company. I have an older brother, who is a physical therapist, a younger sister who is a student, and I have a BA from the University of Alaska in anthropology.

When I first told my parents I wanted to be a room maid, they were concerned, of course, but they also knew how self-sufficient I was, and they knew I’d be careful. Even though, I met my fair share of crazies – there was one guy who responded to my advert in Craigslist. He took me to his apartment, and just as I was telling him about my cooking skills, he said he didn’t need any cooking or cleaning done – just other “duties.” I left immediately. There was another guy who said he lived in a “house” in the Hollywood Hills, except when I arrived, it wasn’t large, it was a TINY one-bedroom apartment with a cot bed in the kitchen.

I made my excuses and left. There were certainly limitations to what I was willing to do – if they got up at 6am for work, I’d prepare breakfast the night before, as I don’t get up before 8am. And, of course, there was never any impropriety. One guy I lived with for a few months, a needy, clingy music producer 30 years older than me, began complaining; “You cook dinner for me, and then you just run off.” I was like, “That's what I'm here for. I have a life, and I want to date. I’m not just here to eat and watch sports with you.” I felt uncomfortable with what he was implying, so I left.

I saw Alan’s advertisement on Craigslist. He sounded very cool on the phone, and when I met him I clicked instantly with him, but it wasn’t a chemistry thing – just a “friend” connection. He’s not my type, as he’s nerdy and introverted, but really sweet. So there was NO sexual tension. Then Alan literally left the next day on business, and I was left alone for over a week in his lovely condo, which outlooks the forest.

When Alan returned, I made sure to spend a few hours a day on my duties, even though Alan was really relaxed and didn’t ask for much. I did his laundry, household shopping, light cleaning and cooking, made him snacks, breakfast, packed lunch and dinner. It was actually really fun, and a positive experience for us both.

There was a house rule that although I could bring a date home – Alan did meet a couple of them – there weren’t to be any sleepovers. That was fine by me. It didn’t cramp my style – if anything it was nice to think of Alan’s as my safe haven. He’s like an older brother-figure, and I called him my LA Angel. Alan didn’t have a girlfriend in LA, so I tried to fix him up, but to no avail.
I know that living with any man, whether it be Alan or the other three men I lived with, is in a way, “romantic” – how can you live with a girl and it not be romantic? There’s always that invisible line that they might have romantic notions about you – but if I ever felt uncomfortable, I’d just reiterate the agreement, and say that I wasn’t there to watch football with them. That never happened with Alan though.

The first time, I lived with Alan for nine months, and then left because of his mother [see Alan’s interview on the next page] – what she says, goes. But I moved back in again later for five months, which was great. Even though I live in my own place now, I still keep in touch with him.

I had a positive experience overall with being a room maid. I’d recommend it – but only if you know exactly what you’re getting into.

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