She Loves Geeks

How to bridge the gap between you and your beloved geek by Carrie Tucker


Saturday morning, 11:00 am.  Your bed is empty - your significant other, apparently already awake.  You stumble into the living room, rubbing your eyes, scratching your head... "what the...?"  Beer and/or Mountain Dew cans are stacked in a neat line.  An empty Papa John's box sits on the coffee table.  And there he is, your lovable, affable, sweet geek, in a wrinkled vintage (no, not cool vintage - OLD vintage) Linux t-shirt and pajama pants, Xbox headset clamped to his ear like the xenomorph from Alien, shouting into the microphone, "He's right behind you, over there, no, stupid! What are you doing?"  A video game that sounds extremely devastating and so, so harsh to your newly woken ears flickers across the (duh) HD flat screen television. 
 
To paraphrase Rod Serling of The Twilight Zone: You have traveled through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. Next stop, the Geek Zone!
 
If you're still reading this, it's pretty safe to say that you (like me) love geeks and nerds. (Make no mistake about it, there IS a difference.  Some claim that nerds are focused on all-around intellectuality, while geeks hone in on one subject and allow it to engulf their lives.) You could be dating one, married to one, or just secretly lusting after one - when Tom in IT starts talking about re-loading your operating system, you practically thrust your laptop into his capable hands. You find their intelligence and extreme passions fascinating - and often inscrutable.  If only you could understand them a bit better. Step number one in permeating the Geek Zone is to know what you're getting into.  Here are ten handy tips on what to expect if you have aspirations of dating a geek or nerd. 
 
1. In the early stages of your relationship, it's best to communicate via e-mail or instant message. These forms of communication aren't as intimidating for geeks, who often feel that they articulate better via the written word than actual, you know, speech.
 
2. He's efficient and focused. The following things will fall by the wayside when he is gaming/reading/programming:    

a. Food. Geeks want something fast - if they even acknowledge their stomach rumbles - that's not going to "get in the way"- of whatever they're currently working on. Taste has little meaning.  If he could shove a slab of NASA-approved freeze-dried ice cream down his throat, he would.  Slap a tray of Bagel Bites in front of him, and forget about it.    

b. Showering. What's the point? No one can smell him online.    

c. Communication. With you. I've totally gotten the hand wave before - the kind of hand wave I give him when I'm in the middle of watching Law & Order, the "Can't you see I'm doing something?" hand wave.

 
3. As intimidated as you are by his activities that you know nothing about, he's just as intimidated by yours. Try easing him into situations such as meeting all your girls for brunch by, say, just getting him out of the house on the weekends so he can see there are people actually walking around and talking. This leads me to number four . . .
 
4. Geeks and nerds often aren't too social. They're either shy or simply bored by most small talk, except when he is on his own turf or is surrounded by fellow geeks. Actually, even having one fellow geek around who he knows speaks his language will keep him from getting bored by the "mundanes" (that's normal human beings to you and me).
 
5. Interrupt an activity and get ready to have a cranky geek on your hands. Never ask him to turn off a video game, get off the computer, or put down a book/comic. I'm sure you feel this way about some stuff too, right? It interrupts your flow, and you're preoccupied with getting back to it - even if it's work.
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