Gender Bend: Dating Like a Man

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Well, it’s high time to make like a Martian.

By Erin Flaherty
Published: Apr 07, 2008

Part of my job covering the love and sex beat is to scour the internet and eavesdrop on “dude” oriented conversations at Askmen.com, Men’s Health, Maxim and other testosterone-infused watering holes where men dish out often laughable love advice to one another. Mostly, these venues offer a bunch of boorish, misogynist crap, but every once in awhile, you get some enlightening insight into the goings on of the male mind.

Call me Samantha Jones, but I can’t help but think women should internalize some of these nuggets. Here are the standouts that I’ve personally road tested:

Lesson 1: Learn to juggle.

“My goal is to have a committed relationship with the woman of my dreams. However, I recognize that to get to that point, I’ll have to meet many women. So I plan on dating many Mrs. Right Nows. A side benefit—you’re not so hung up on any one woman.” —The Dating Guy

You’re female, so you know how to multi-task. Why not apply your skills to dating? It baffles me why women are often afraid to go there. I suspect that it has a lot to do with that tired (yet persistent) double standard that a man who dates lots of women is a stud, while a woman who does so is a not-so-kind four-letter word that starts with an “s.” We have to get over it. The key is to remember that you decide which of them, if any, you want to sleep with—there’s no rule that says you have to put everyone on speed dial. Eventually, one or two guys will emerge to the forefront. And always having a date at the ready is fabulous for boosting your self-esteem.

Lesson 2: Recover from a breakup quickly.

“One of the things that keeps men from moving on after a relationship is holding on to false hope. Some men are stuck in limbo with the idea that there might be a chance of getting back together with their exes.” —AskMen.com

Let’s get this straight: Contrary to some schools of thought, men actually do suffer when it comes to a breakup. The difference is that men seem to move on more quickly. This doesn’t mean that unprocessed emotions don’t bite them in the ass eventually, but we can learn a little something from nipping extended wallowing in the bud. The sweetest revenge is to funnel all your energy into improving your work, family and friend relationships. A casual fling here and there can’t hurt. And instead of hunkering down with your new boyfriends, Ben & Jerry, hit the gym so that next time you run into your ex, you look great while you brag about the promotion.

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