Ad Nauseum

Web ads gone mad. The wonderful world of "missed connections," courtesy of the list of all lists.

by Randy Haberek
Posted September 3rd, 10:00am | News/Pop Culture

In our continued effort to deliver our readers the colorful, the absurd, and downright shameful, DAME infiltrated craigslist for only the best of the worst ads out there – verbatim – we couldn’t make this sh!t up if we tried! 

If you've ever felt like you missed a "love at first site" chance... with a vodka swilling pseudo-hipster or a guy that commandeered a lime green kayak…this one's for you, kid.

Rootbeer Vodka - w4m - 23 (North KY)
Reply to: pers-812251528@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-25, 1:45PM EDT

You were drinking root beer vodka alone at the Circle K parking lot in Erlanger. I've seen you there before, but usually you have your head in a bag pizza flavored combos muttering something about Mr. Schneebly Body (whoever that is). It kinda creeps me out, yet in some way you remind me of my late father. You commented on my shoes last Friday I thought it was odd that you knew they were Via Spigas. I look forward to your uncomfortable glares. I also crave to know more about you. Tell me what car I drive.

* Location: NKY
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


Okay, let’s get this straight. Your father was the type of guy that preferred the ambience of a convenience store parking lot while eating hors d’oeuvres from a bag and getting soused, yet still retained an uncanny ability to spot trendy shoe brands from a distance. Yeah, that does sound pretty hot.

Beautiful blue eyes in a lime green kayak, riding waves at the beach - w4m - 26 (Higgins Beach)

Reply to: pers-822012381@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-09-01, 10:25AM EDT

I was watching you play around in the water yesterday evening. You paddled circles around all the kids and were so polite to people. I watched you cut your ride short because families weren't paying attention and kept jumping in front of your boat. You even took a time out to chat with a few little boys who were watching you intently. As you pulled up to shore to get out I was walking by with a friend (I had the black bikini) and you smiled. You have the most amazing blue eyes and charming smile.
 
* Location: Higgins Beach (Maine)
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


A lime green kayak wasn’t a dead giveaway? In all fairness, if this had happened in 1986…

» Back to the Dose