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The Rain-Related Pain in Spain

Boozing Brits prepare annual assault on Barcelona

by Joe P. Hasler
Posted May 15th, 6:00am | News

Every summer, thousands of British "holiday makers" descend upon the Spanish seaside locales Barcelona, Majorca and Tenerife. The simple and expressed intention of their visit: Get absolutely pissed—in the traditional British sense—and sunbathe until the prickly heat sets in.  Occasionally there's a football match to watch, or a rival fan to curb stomp, but both of these activities are conveniently doable with beer-in-hand. Mostly though, they just sit and drink to oblivion, vomit, then pass out, all without ever leaving the pool at their resort. The next day, they do it again.

But this summer, with Spain suffering its worst drought in half a century, the annual British invasion stands to be severely affected. So far, Spain has responded to its water shortage by turning off civic fountains and beach showers, both popular destinations for shirtless, sunburnt Brits. The government has even outlawed the filling of swimming pools and hoses.

All of this raises some serious questions for the local population. If they can't use hoses, how will they spray all the British puke off their sidewalks? With Spain's pools and public fountains empty, where will the holiday makers gather? Public libraries? The Olympic diving venue? Unfinished Art Nouveau churches?

The Spaniards are understandably concerned about their water shortage, but things are about to get a lot worse: The British are coming and there's a decent chance they're going to barf on you.  

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