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Mother Knows Best

Mama Lohan nabs Top Mom award. Don't even start.

by Peter Gilstrap
Posted May 8th, 6:00am | Celeb/Entertainment

Sadly, they don’t make a bumper sticker long enough—or bumper long enough, for that matter—to spell out “Proud parent of a child who has failed three rehabs, has destroyed cars, is engaged in a number of lawsuits, was arrested on cocaine charges, may have stolen an $11,000 coat and has two drunk driving arrests.” But if that was possible, said sticker would allow bragging rights for Dina Lohan, newly crowned Top Mom by the Long Island-based Mingling Mom organization.

“Lindsay is a wonderful and loving and caring girl who is completely misunderstood. People forget that she's only 21. I mean what were you like when you were 21?” reasoned Mama Lohan. Well, not that much of a mess, but then who can blame young Lindsay? Mommy dearest signed her (and sister Ali) up with the Ford modeling agency at the age of three, insuring a well-grounded start in life.

The meticulously image-conscious Mingling Mom officials that bestowed the award on 45-year-old Dina based their decision on the fact that she’s a Long Island native and the mother of someone famous. “Dina just does things her own way, and we don't stand in judgment,” stated Mingling Mom (and what the hell does that mean anyway?) president Erica Logiudice. “When it comes down to it, Lindsay is over 18. She's a big girl. You can't hold her mom responsible for everything.” In Dina’s case, maybe that’s true.

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