Ad Nauseam

Sure, the Internet is a revolutionary tool used for e-commerce, blogs, dating, (porn), but recycling pacifiers? That's just wrong.

By Randy Haberek
Published: Dec 02, 2007

In an effort to deliver our readers a taste of the colorful, the absurd, and downright shameful, DAME has tirelessly scoured the web for only the best of the worst ads out there—verbatim—we couldn’t make this sh!t up if we tried!

Actual postings on www.freecycle.org:

POOR BABY

I have 5 pacifiers to offer. These have been used but are in great condition. Just need to be wasted [sic]. 3 are Pink, one green and one red. Also I have a pacifier holder. It attatches [sic] to the pacifier and the baby so do lose them. I am located in South Bend, Indiana. Got a little couch potato?

AGAIN, POOR BABY

I have on my porch a baby of baby toys, rattles toy's that need batteries [sic] stuffed animals ect also a platic [sic] kroger bag of bottles and siipy [sic] cups that need replaceable lids, email me and I will give you my address [sic] for pick up, they are on my front porch in garbage bag,Thanks
Tammy, Campbell County, KY

VIBRATING & SCREWING

I have a lawnmower that works but vibrates like crazy. The blade does need to be sharpened. I am using bolts and screws to hold the 2 pieces of the handle together but it would be better to have the rubber thingies on the bolts cause the vibration causes the ones I am using to come unscrewed.
Diane in St. Clair. Jefferson County, MO

GARDEN OR GORGEOUS GAMS?

I HAVE SEVERAL PAIR OF CONTROL TOP BLACK PANTY HOSE, ONLY ONE PAIR HAS A RUN IN IT. THEY ARE SLIGHTLY PICKED. I THOUGH SOME ONE COULD USE THEM TO TIE UP VEGGIES IN THE GARDEN OR FOR A CRAFT. THEY CAN STILL BE WORN AS WELL. I POSTED EARLIER ABOUT OTHER CLOTHING ITEMS, SAME GOES FOR THE HOSE.
Blount County, TN

YOU DECIDE

Trumpet, includes mute & oil. I've been told the quality of the instrument is "great", "good", and "crap" - within days of each other. I don't know enough to be able to tell myself (and neither my wife or I can play to really know anything other than it makes noise).
Dayton, OH

HOW MUCH TIME DO PEOPLE HAVE ON THEIR HANDS?

I have at least 4 and maybe 6 big cans and emptying more on a weekly basis. Anyone want them to make drums or use to store craft supplies? Empty formula cans 30.8 oz
Irene (North Macon, off exit 172 on I-75)
Macon, GA

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