Back to School, Again

DAME seeks professional advice for surviving High School the second time around

By Daiana Feuer
Published: Dec 01, 2007

"No more pencils/No more books/No more teacher's dirty looks
Out for summer/Out till fall/We might not go back at all"

—Alice Cooper, "School's Out"

rock paper scissors

Whether you were a mean girl, theatre geek or future Columbia graduate, considering going to your high school reunion can be a terrifying or terrific prospect.

To get the most out of the experience, DAME wondered, what if we hired a team of experts to advise you in advance?

From handshaking and how you hold your head to greater questions of life’s meaning and self-awareness, these experts cover all the bases. Grab your nametag and head for the punch, ‘cause here’s what we learned.

The Marketer: Sell yourself for who you are
Marcie Goldberg, Qualitative Marketing Firm

Market yourself as favorably as possible. Lose some weight if there’s time, get the greatest outfit in the world, prepare the version of your life as you want it to be heard.

I’m a seasoned reunion-goer, having been to my 10th, 20th, and 30th reunions. My concerns, excitement and anxiety were different each time. At the first, I was an actress on the fabulous road less traveled. I wore an outrageous outfit. At the second, I was a single mom, divorced, a businesswoman, and fell into a three-year romance with an old friend. At the third, I owned the world because now I didn’t care. I was at the top of my game, lost a lot of weight, confident, in my opinion, looked better than all the skinny blondes from high school who were gray and overweight.

Whether or not you’re at the top of your game, go in with the attitude that wherever you are in life is a great place to be.

The Shrink: Daydream for the sake of self-awareness
Victoria Stevens, Clinical Psychologist, Teacher

An event like this puts us face-to-face with the real passage of time and ultimately that means our own mortality, thus becoming a ritual about celebrating life and change and being human.

Be prepared to question your assumptions about other people as well as your idea about what you think their idea of you was/is. Many new friendships, business and love relationships have emerged from reconnecting with old friends or discovering people you never connected with before.

Often we rehearse our potential conversations with people in our heads prior to attending an event like this. These rehearsals provide valuable information about what we are proud of or maybe ashamed or regretful about, and so forth.

The Yogi: Better posture can make your whole life better, not just the reunion
Russ Pfeiffer-Rolfer, Yoga instructor and Movement Re-educator

You can get a lot of mileage out of head carriage. How you walk, how you carry yourself. Are you in gravity? Work with posture and gestures so that your presentation and the way you meet the world is a little more refined.

How do you meet the world, the social environment? How do you meet others? You can meet them in a direct sort of way, shake their hand strongly, or you can be more open, the vision can be more diffused. You can shake a hand quickly or you can shake it slooowly, and that has a different effect.

Imagine your head is a helium balloon pulling you up. Let it lead you up in the air, like Fred Astaire. He had amazing head carriage. He looked like he was dancing on a cloud because his head was lifting him off the ground. The idea is to move with "mindfulness" but don’t over-think. That bogs down movement. It’s more about allowing rather than willing.