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Your Hollywood
Tales from the Left Coast
By Peter Gilstrap
Published: Mar 24, 2008
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DEL.ICIO.US
YAHOOI was down on Hollywood Boulevard the other evening browsing for hookahs when I found myself talking to a homeless chap. He was sucking on the remnants of a Shamrock Shake—thanks Ireland!—laced with discount vodka; naturally, we discussed the world of film (let’s face it, it’s an industry town). Namely, the fact that the powers that be in H-wood have seen fit to announce a remake of the best Satan’s baby mama movie ever, Rosemary’s Baby.
Actually, the homeless chap was more interested in the shake than the discussion (who can blame him? Those things only come around once a year), but he did take a moment to utter, “That’ll be a piece of shit!” before shambling across Cloris Leachman and Carol Burnett’s sidewalk-embedded stars and into an alley. An insightful prediction if ever I heard one. If you’re given to head scratching in befuddlement at the mind numbing junk that Tinsel Town ritually churns out you’ve probably got grooves in your scalp by now, but find a new space for this one.
Not only will RB2 be a “meticulous” rehash (according to the Hollywood Reporter), it’ll be produced by Michael “Pearl Harbor” Bay. Yes, the same high dollar bombast-hound who’s set to bring us much-needed new versions of A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Birds, and Friday the 13th. What sort of mission is this man on? The 1968 version of Rosemary, scripted and directed by Roman Polanski, is a damn near perfect piece of work—and one of the few horror films to nab an Oscar; arguably the best thing Mia Farrow ever did, short of Broadway Danny Rose, of course.
Anyone remember the note-for-note remake of Psycho? What a great idea that was. Still, if it must be done, a couple suggestions to Mr. Bay: Get Dave Grohl to reprise his role as the Devil in Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny, and hire Britney Spears for the Farrow role as the bearer or Satan’s spawn. That just might be worth a rental.
ODDS & ENDS
If you’ve ever felt the desire to own Elizabeth Taylor’s wig from Cleopatra or the sexy pointed hat worn by the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz—which would make a complimentary combo, actually—now is your chance. These and many more items of sacred filmdom significance will be up for auction at the Palms Resort and Casino in Las Vegas this month, part of a collection owned by developer Anthony Pugliese. The lot has been valued at more than $5 million. Also on the block will be the gun Jack Ruby used to ice Lee Harvey Oswald, which is sort of like a Hollywood keepsake.
If you’re looking for the most productive way to spend valuable office hours without doing any actual work, you’d be hard pressed to find a better project than perusing the remarkable web site Freaking News, particularly the page of Neckless Celebrities. Who hasn’t wondered what Kid Rock or Kirsten Dunst would look like minus the meat cylinder that separates their heads from their shoulders? Even if you haven’t you shan’t be disappointed.
Imagine swilling cocktails on a luxury liner, plowing through the high seas, visiting exotic ports o’call like Barbados, Grand Turk and Devil’s Island. While watching Ed Asner live onstage. Sadly, you’ll have to keep imaging, as the Theater At Sea cruise has sailed, along with Ed, Shirley Jones and Patricia Neal. Kind of a Branson on the waves. Anyway, get a jump and sign up for next season’s thespian voyage. With any luck, they’ll be doing The Poseidon Adventure, or maybe Ed and Shirley will team up for a moving reading of Deep Water.
Peter Gilstrap is an L.A.-based writer who is living the dream, along with two dogs and cat.
Submitted by MrDame | Posted 128 days 22 hours |
Worse is, Madonna wants to remake Casablanca and set it in, wait for it, Iraq.
http://laragmag.com/2008/03/31/gasp-madonna-wants-to-remake-casablanca/
Submitted by sunny501 | Posted 135 days 1 hour |
Michael Bay should be forbidden from ruining the best horror movie ever made. His ego - really, you're going to do better than Polanski?! Next he'll sign up to re-do The Godfather.
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