There’s Paint In My Salad Dressing

Why is there paint in the salad dressing? To make it white, of course. That’s why titanium dioxide, also found in sunscreen, coffee creamer and icing, is possibly contaminating your crispy, crunchy lettuce with lead.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg (lettuce). According to a rundown of food don’ts on health site Rodale, all eating and cooking should be approached with a healthy dose of paranoia. Avoid plastic, buy organic, don’t trust labels, never eat from cans and don’t wash with antimicrobial stuff. Non-stick anything leads to infertility. Soda leads to ADHD thanks to the toxic flame retardants. Oh, and strawberries are dangerous, too. Ever wonder how they stay on the shelves all year? Because many strawberry farmers spray their fields with a toxic carcinogenic fumigant called methyl iodide.

In conclusion, pick natural food products at the supermarket. But even then, according to The Cornucopia Institute, some of those “all-natural” cereals are genetically modified. The important thing is to stay scared and suspicious. To that end, we recommend Bruce Bradley’s food-centric blog. It’ll freak you out.