Todd Akin And The Art of Seduction

Move over Sir Lancelot, Heathcliff and Don Juan - the greatest seducer of women is none other than Missouri Congressman Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin.

Along with many of his GOP peers, Representative Akin is taking us back to a more chivalrous time when a girl didn’t have to worry about thinking for herself when a man could do that for her. And it’s driving women crazy, as you’ve probably noticed.

Here’s the old smoothie on the topic of rape: “From what I understand from doctors, that's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Akin understands women. He understands that vaginas have magical powers and can tell the difference between a lover’s semen and a rapist’s. He understands that not all rapes are legitimate – some are just made up so that women can get a discounted “Obamacare abortion” (under Obamacare, every tenth abortion is free).

But most of all he understands that going medieval on half of the population is a surefire way to win at the voting booth this fall.