You are here
Fishy Tales
A U.S. government agency has to patiently explain to us that mermaids don’t exist.
EMAIL
SHARE
First the Centers for Disease Control had to reassure us that the zombie apocalypse is not actually battering down a door near you. Now the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has had to officially point out that there is no scientific evidence to suggest the existence of mermaids.
NOAA took the unusual step after receiving earnest inquiries provoked by “Mermaids: The Body Found” on Animal Planet. Perhaps because Animal Planet is a subsidiary of the Discovery Channel viewers who slept through high school biology evidently thought they were watching a documentary. About mermaids. So the NOAA took the trouble to point out, on its Ocean Facts web page, that while mermaids are “legendary sea creatures chronicled in maritime cultures since time immemorial…no evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found.”
Next up, expect be an official statement from the American Dental Association denying any reliable proof of a sprite that pays cash for lost teeth.
EMAIL
SHARE
GET ANOTHER DOSE:
-
The outspoken Tea Party congresswoman finally gets a bill passed in the House and wastes less than a day using it to launch her 2014 re-election effort. -
Morgan Stanley has a new portfolio that requires companies with female directors, which is cool and all, but one article says it could be bad for business. -
The mayor of Osaka says the forced prostitution of tens of thousands of women during World War II had a “necessary” role in keeping Japanese troops happy. -
Let’s raise money to teach her about reproduction. -
New approaches to treating breast cancer give women more options in treating the disease. -
Disney princesses get sexed-up makeovers. Just like their non-animated Disney sisters. -
The former “Today” show co-host and first woman to anchor the evening news is ready to just stay home and watch. -
Stereotypes about women and “typical” female behavior pushed this case into the headlines. -
Mark Sanford dials up the weirdness factor to prove women don’t hate him. -
Why crazy Pete ‘n’ mad Macaulay are made for each other -
Amanda Berry’s desperate call to 911 raises questions about 911 dispatch. -
-
Congresswomen step in to enforce reform as military promises of “Zero Tolerance” fall flat. -
No, it's not because girls are inherently smarter than boys... -
Prominent businesswoman and Stephen Colbert’s older sister Elizabeth Colbert Busch could lose tomorrow’s special election because voters are constantly reminded that she’s a Democrat.
We're distilling and delivering the best in news, entertainment, culture and exclusive offers.
GET ANOTHER DOSE:
-
The outspoken Tea Party congresswoman finally gets a bill passed in the House and wastes less than a day using it to launch her 2014 re-election effort. -
Morgan Stanley has a new portfolio that requires companies with female directors, which is cool and all, but one article says it could be bad for business. -
The mayor of Osaka says the forced prostitution of tens of thousands of women during World War II had a “necessary” role in keeping Japanese troops happy. -
Let’s raise money to teach her about reproduction. -
New approaches to treating breast cancer give women more options in treating the disease. -
Disney princesses get sexed-up makeovers. Just like their non-animated Disney sisters. -
The former “Today” show co-host and first woman to anchor the evening news is ready to just stay home and watch. -
Stereotypes about women and “typical” female behavior pushed this case into the headlines. -
Mark Sanford dials up the weirdness factor to prove women don’t hate him. -
Why crazy Pete ‘n’ mad Macaulay are made for each other -
Amanda Berry’s desperate call to 911 raises questions about 911 dispatch. -
-
Congresswomen step in to enforce reform as military promises of “Zero Tolerance” fall flat. -
No, it's not because girls are inherently smarter than boys... -
Prominent businesswoman and Stephen Colbert’s older sister Elizabeth Colbert Busch could lose tomorrow’s special election because voters are constantly reminded that she’s a Democrat. -
Or are fat people just being over-sensitive when their doctor says “watch your weight”?
More Articles
-
Ultrasound legislation is sweeping the country. This year alone 14 states have... -
From Maggie Smith to Judi Dench, America is obsessed with tough biddies from... -
From pony club to strip club in one fell swoop – how Hollywood handles its... -
The actress who was reportedly eyeing a Kentucky run says she’s not running... -
After three years as an unemployed single mom, she became the proud owner of... -
Debt-ridden, stressed and struggling – women on TV have never had it so rough.... -
Guess which one of these evil things Monsanto didn’t do. -
In a new book, the Slate editor reveals her experience at the hands of bullies... -
On her latest movie Trance, her former flame Danny Boyle, and her plans to... -
"Date my boy!" says a frantic Mrs. Seacrest in a full page ad for the... -
Skin cancer is the number one cancer in America, and yet we’re slathering on... -
Peggy’s a captain of industry, and Megan’s a burgeoning soap star. How do the... -
Hours after she died, the fighting began on the comment threads between her... -
The Chelsea Lately comedian grew tired of people asking her why she didn’t have... -
Don’t worry, it’s not rocket science. We cut through the jargon in this step by...
Comments