America Is Turning Into India
It’s no secret that the American empire is on the slide. Seems like every week some expert shows up predicting its demise, and it’s high time we took the hint. This isn’t just alarmist hyperbole from America-hating liberals. It’s the consensus: With each passing year, the USA looks less like the economic superpower and military colossus that dominated the 20th century, and more like some struggling third world country. And not just any third world country either.
America is turning into India.
The historical parallels between the two countries are many. Both are vast former British colonies that gained independence and became democracies. They’re deeply religious and conservative cultures, prone to cults, nationalistic and tainted by a lingering prejudice against the darker skinned. And their history is that of brutal racism against the lowest tiers of society—the African slaves in America, and the untouchable Dalits of India. In both cases, the oppressed were championed and liberated by civil rights leaders who engaged in non-violent protest (Martin Luther King was a disciple of Gandhi). And both countries have a history of political assassination (the Gandhis and the Kennedys).
But so much for history. It’s the more recent developments that are the most worrying. For proof that America is turning into India, you needn’t look into the past—just look around.
Snoop’s Gone Bollywood. And as we all know, the way Snoop goes, so goes the nation. Clearly it’s had a profound effect on South Park already, as you can see from this strip of Sikh Park.
Rickshaws in Manhattan. And mental Indian cab drivers for that matter. It’ll be bullock carts next, you watch.
People protesting political corruption in the streets. Last year, young people all over India came out in support of Anna Hazare, who went on hunger strike in protest against the corruption of politicians. People wore creepy masks at the protests.
In America, we had Zucotti Park and the Occupy Movement.
People wore creepy masks at the protests.
The Age of Kali. In 2010, “Kali”, signifying the mother goddess in Hinduism, was the 535th most popular baby name in the USA. “Eileen” came in at 837. “Calista” didn’t even make the top 1000.
America’s underclass grows as India’s shrinks. For those just emerging from a coma, poverty has been on the rise in America lately while the rich have grown astronomically richer. According to the US Census over 46 million Americans were living in poverty in 2010 (10 million more than in 2006). Or, put another way, one in two Americans are officially low income or living in poverty. India, however, is going in the opposite direction. According to a 2011 report, Indian poverty is projected to fall to 22% in 2015 from 51% in 1990. In other words, the world’s richest country and one of the poorest countries in the world are on their way to meeting in the middle.
Daft song and dance numbers in non-musical movies. That Bollywood crap, it's creeping in all over the place. A couple of examples, out of many, are Jennifer Garner having a go in 13 Going On 30, and Joseph Gordon Leavitt giving Hall and Oates the Hindi treatment in 500 Days of Summer. Oh it’s all fun and games at the start, but the next thing you know is you’re working in a call center and some cocky Indian guy is making fun of your accent.
US Income Inequality is Worse Than India’s. There’s no better hallmark of a third world country than a vast, yawning income inequality gap. But while inequality in earnings has doubled in India over the last two decades, it’s nowhere near as bad as it is in America. In fact, India is 37 countries behind America. When it comes to income inequality, America out-unequals Russia, China and Iran. These charts tell the story.
Public Defecation. Admittedly, America can’t hold a candle to India on this front. (In fact any kind of naked flame would be a bad idea.) According to UNICEF some “665 million Indians practice public defecation.” Well, practice makes perfect, I suppose. But still, for the richest country in the cosmos, any kind of public dumping is a slippery brown slope towards the third world. Here’s a headline from Montana: “Helena Man Accused of Public Defecation”. And in Ohio, they found a policeman up to the same thing. I shit you not.
Americans are leaving in search of a better life. It used to be that India was the kind of place you left in search of a better life, and America was where you hoped to end up. But that worm is turning. Here’s proof that Americans, for the first time ever, are deciding en masse to relocate. According to some Zogby polls conducted between 2005 and 2007, at least 3 million U.S. citizens a year are venturing abroad. And the number’s rising. Between 2009 and 2011, the number of people who said they planned to relocate tripled. That translates to 6 million Americans. And these are young people too, in the 25-34 age group, not retirees.
Conversely, the Indian immigrants who come to the US are increasingly returning to India.
Selling wares door to door. In India people come down the street selling everything from eggs to balloons and all kinds of services from ironing to shoe polishing. And now the same thing’s starting here in Los Angeles. Small brown men who can’t speak English pull their carts down the street full of ice cream and toot their horns. Sure, it’s convenient—why drive to Ralphs for your salmonella if it comes to your door? But it’s also a portent, a sure sign, that America is turning into India before our eyes.
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